My church has the exciting opportunity in that we get to form a youth group for middle schoolers. We have just three or four middle schoolers, aged 10 to 12, so it would be small, but small things at church can sometimes be the most fun and engaging.

We haven’t had a youth group for a while. Kids are really busy these days, and they’re especially busy in our school district. Why add something else to a busy schedule when you’ve already got a sport or band or scouts or all three and then some to do? Which leads me to to question I want to play with in this post: why form a youth group at all? What does a youth group offer that an extracurricular activity doesn’t? Or that just a friendship group doesn’t? What good is there in forming a youth group?

Now, some of you might rise up and say, “Hey, wait a minute! There’s a ton that a youth group can offer!” And you’re right, and many of us have particularly fond memories of our youth groups back when we were in middle and high school. But things in 2025 are different than they were in the 80s and 90s (for millennials) or earlier (for Gen X). The younger generation, some being at the tail end of Gen Z and others being in the subsequent generation (which I think is called Gen Alpha), don’t often feel comfortable identifying with a group, especially religious groups. These younger generations can be extremely spiritual, and they may take part in religious practices (especially contemplation and meditation, Christian or otherwise), but doing “Christian things” doesn’t necessarily make them want to join a church and start volunteering and pledging. They jump between groups, following where they feel called, and being comfortable with multiple identities at once. Which is just fine and actually pretty interesting and fun.

For millennial and Gen Xers, however, a youth group was about joining a group, and exactly that. It was getting together with people your own age, learning about what the church does, and finding our own way in our faith to help and serve those around us. Or, quite simply, to get together and have fun in a safe environment. And while younger generations are cool with getting together, they want to do something that they feel personally connected to, not just because it’s “what Christians do.”

So why not just have opportunities for kids to volunteer at places? Why not just connect them with the Outreach committee and have them slowly integrate into the service projects of the church? Well, for two reasons. First, it’s important to feel a sense of ownership in some part of the church community life; and second, the trading of ideas.

Last Sunday, three of the families got together to talk about what we wanted the youth group to look like. One thing we noted, however, as how much we wanted the children to take leadership in what they wanted the youth group to be like. That evening, I sat down with my 10 year old and talked to her about what a youth group might mean. Her eyes went wide at the idea. Not only would she be hanging out with kids her age (and not all the little kids), but we were even going to give them their own space that they could decorate themselves! I talked about taking tours of the food bank and maybe helping out at a local veterans’ service organization, and she started talking about how important it is to help other people. Then, one of the mothers in the group emailed with ideas her child had come up with just by being given a chance to express them. And they were great: things like talking about the more meatier parts of the Bible or raising funds to buy food or blankets for the homeless.

In short, we set the parameters for these three or four kids and let them explore – and they were more than ready. For ten or eleven years, these kids have been taking in tons of information about what it means to be a Christian, from celebrating the Eucharist to praying for our enemies to serving the poor. And here’s a chance where all that information becomes something more than just information; it becomes active practice. The kids were chomping at the bit to start. And I think the reason for this is that the Holy Spirit has been preparing a place in their hearts for getting together in community, expressing their ideas in that community, and getting to work. What we parents and leaders are doing is just giving them the chance to live out these promptings of the Spirit.

There is also the trading of ideas, though this is something that I assume will happen rather than something that I’ve seen happen. For the most part, the kids get together after church services to play, and they’re really rather goofy and silly. They play with their younger siblings and engage them on their level. Which is fine: they’ve been sitting in a pew for forty-five minutes and they’re ready to run.

But giving them a chance to gather with those their own age, and only those their own age, with the express purpose of learning more about their faith and serving folks in need. Something is going to happen between these kids when we put them in that context. That something is the Holy Spirit, but it will be a prompting of the Spirit that they haven’t experienced before – and that I as a parent of one of these kids haven’t seen before. That’s exciting. That’s fascinating. I want to see that, and I partially want to see that, because I want to be in it as well. That’s the kind of group that I want to help form, give structure to, and then stand back and watch what happens.

Which leads me to the question: what is my job? As with many things as a parent and as a priest, it’s to do the administrative work. Organize things, set dates, email everyone to make sure that we’re all on the same page, and maybe create an activity or two. Reach out to organizations outside the church and see how the kids can help. Partner with other churches who might have a similarly small group of middle schoolers. Make everything gel well so that the kids themselves can spend their time listening to the Spirit and to the Spirit speaking through their friends.

I really enjoy that kind of work. I hope you do, too. Especially when it comes to teaching youth or guiding people in a church, so much of the work is making opportunities for people to grow and learn. People, and especially children, are ready for it. They’ve been drinking in the Spirit and are ready to get down to it and live that Spirit!