I’ve never been that good with keeping to Morning Prayer every morning, but I’d like to be. Getting my children ready for school most mornings, however, doesn’t usually lead to a stable schedule of daily prayer. And so, like most parents, I do what I can. This year, I’ve decided to do my best to read a Psalm once a day. Some days I read one, for long stretches I read nothing at all, and some days (like today) I read three in a row.

One thing that has struck me while reading the Psalms is how many of them contain verses against one’s enemies. Our lectionary does a good job to bring out the Psalm or the sections of Psalms dealing with praise and hope, so if we only encounter the Psalms on Sunday mornings, we might miss these verses. And I have to say, these sections have been turning me off the to Psalms, which is something of a blow to my general feelings towards my Scriptures (I really love the Bible). In general, I don’t think I have many enemies, and those I do (be they personal, cultural, or political), I don’t really wish harm on them. I also stress to my children how we should have no enemies, something I think Jesus preached, especially on the Cross. How would my kids hear these pessimistic Psalms of vengeance?

There’s a lot to say about these feelings. The Psalms are definitely written by and for communities that are crunched in between giant empires. Their intended audience are those who face oppression. I’m personally not oppressed. Quite the opposite! I’m a white, straight, man with a strong body, a good family, living in a relatively safe community. I have few complaints. Normally, I read these and similar parts of the Bible as a voice from those who don’t have it as good as me and who Jesus insists I listen to. In this way, I am humble before the Psalms, because they remind me that the Bible isn’t written just for some privileged guy in the suburbs but for everyone, especially those who don’t live like I do.

That said, the Psalms are still a part of my Scripture, and I want to read them as commenting on my own spiritual journey. I do this, of course, with my own privilege in mind, but also with a yearning to know God more fully through Scriptures that are not only about political and socio-economical awareness (as important as this is). So what do I do? How do I read the anger, or the pessimism, or the seemingly constant comment on one’s enemies?

I’m playing with an answer, and talking to God about it, but I’m wondering about looking at the “enemies” in the Psalms as my emotional and spiritual enemies. I mean this in two ways. First, personally, I struggle with anxiety disorder. Sometimes the chemicals in my body aren’t what they should be, and I experience emotions that aren’t rational. During these times, I have to remind myself that I am more than my emotions and reactions. I pray to God that I can remain stable in Him. There is no real “enemy” in these struggles (my body just doesn’t work the way others’ do), but the struggle itself is real. Perhaps these Psalms that speak of conflict can help me better see God’s presence in these struggles and in how God continues to heal me from the hurts I experience?

I also wonder about “spiritual” enemies. I personally believe in “cosmic dark forces” and Satan, but I don’t mean these specifically. Those of us living in the West face many spiritual temptations towards sin. There are many opportunities in our modern culture to give in to these temptations, from gluttony of food or entertainment to pride or envy against our neighbors. Our culture has very few places to recognize these temptations and even fewer where we can learn how to resist them or, most importantly I think, heal from them. Perhaps the Psalms can help us distance ourselves from the slander and aggression of hyper-commercialization or the dark pessimism and hopelessness many of us feel in our age.

I have to say, while writing this post, I still feel unsure if this is a good way to see the Psalms. I have long felt, and I still feel, that there is too much  conflict in the world, and I’d like to save the word “enemy” for much less than just anyone we disagree with. I worry about seeing my emotions (legitimate or not) as enemies, because I worry about the fragmented self that our culture seems to encourage. But even so, there are some things from which we should distance ourselves from, and we have legitimate laments to raise to God. Perhaps, as I continue to pray the Psalms this year, God will grant me some wisdom. As with most spiritual journeys, this one is a work in progress, a sort of theology “on the road.” 

If you feel similar, or different, to my experiences, please leave a note in the comments. When it comes to matters of the Church, we should never go on a journey alone.